When Labels and Safe Places Fail

I wasn’t planning to go there, but I’m here already so I thought I’d offer up some hopefully encouraging and Biblical thoughts for what feels like a world turned upside-down. I mean it when I say what I desire to bring to the table is some clarity in the confusion, some sanity in the madness and some truth in the midst of deceit. I can say that with an honest heart because the words and wisdom aren’t mine, they come from a wiser place than my own head, they come from God and His Word, which is all but abandoned of late. Let’s not abandon ship quite yet.

Do you ever walk away from checking current events and feel like a blinking deer caught in headlights? That was me last night for a lot of reasons. The local news ran a story in honor of Pride weekend about businesses all over the country designating themselves as “Safe Spaces” by placing big rainbow badge stickers in their windows. The idea that “it’s meant to help LGBTQ+ people feel safe year round with decals or signs that designate businesses as safe spots.”  The backstory here being a response to the Orlando nightclub shooting in which the gay community was targeted.

The second article I came across was a listing of the various terms used by the gay community to define their specific ‘identity’. It warned me though, to “be aware that many have been used derogatorily by straight, white, cisgender (defined below!) people”. I guess thats me. I read it through. All the way through. I was informed (or warned) at the end that each of these terms means something different to each person, so learn them but “be careful not to put the burden of your education on other people”. I’m not trying to be snarky, but the message I took from this was one of vast confusion. Understand how the labels are different, but also understand they mean something different to everyone, but also don’t show how privileged you are by misusing said labels. This is a lose-lose situation. I’d never be able to use them correctly much less in a derogatory way.

Before we go totally off the rails thinking I’m on some anti-gay political rant during pride weekend, I assure you I’m not. I’m using two examples that I saw back to back that struck me for various reasons and made my heart, as a Christian (cisgender?!) woman sad. So yes, I speak from a Christian worldview because it’s the only one I believe in.

I speak to fellow Christians who are on their religious high horses to climb down off the merry-go-round of prideful arrogance and come down to eye-level for a minute with the rest of us. The world doesn’t need a religious version of itself, heels dug in so deep and fingers in ears screaming for everyone to hop on board with your cause.

I plead with my fellow Jesus-lovers who are off in some corner someplace sitting silent allowing this culture to pull you along like a puppy on a leash whichever way it pleases while you allow yourselves to be defined and directed by anything but Jesus to snap out of it and armor-up, not in hateful rants, but in truth and love.

Back to the articles. The fascination with the idea of having a ‘safe space’ has run amok, as has the idea that everyone must approve of our ever-changing obsession with labels. Agree with them and understand them or else. Do I believe people are targeted in hate crimes? Yes. Do I think it’s disgusting? Of course. I too would love to walk around the city feeling “safe YEAR ROUND!” but I can’t help but cringe when I read this. A huge reality check is needed here: this isn’t a gay/straight/Christian/non-Christian issue as it’s made out to be. The outrage is hollow and misplaced. This is a sin issue, period. And it never gets addressed. Ever. Instead of looking at the root of that nightclub attack, they are making stickers and writing articles to me about checking my privilege before I dare speak. What caused that attack? A radical, hate-filled individual with evil and sin in his heart. There is no safe space from that, folks no matter how hard we try and designate one. In it’s most raw form, sin tells us we are the center of the universe and to do it our way, to hell with the consequences. Ask Adam and Eve. The world is never going to be a safe space. You can narrow it down to a gay vs. straight issue if you want, but it’s not about that at all. Christians (actual Christians) don’t have it out for gay people. We don’t have it out for anyone actually. We have it out for SIN.

We are called to be sober in a world drunk on selfishness. Called to be vigilant in a culture that has been lulled to sleep by the distractions of social media, youtube and weekend little league. We aren’t the safe space, but we are charged with showing people the ultimate safe space in Jesus. For the unbeliever, the necessity to create a sense of security has lead to this. Instead of seeking out Jesus, we seek to define ourselves (ad nauseum) by something else. For the gay community, it’s with no less than 73 gender identifiers. But before we get too high up on our pedestals, how many do we create? At work? In our social circles? Our suburban bubbles? We label ourselves with what we want people to see: (the Bible study lady! the perfectly crafty mom! the lady who has time to work out! the doting dad!) and we don’t hesitate to label others as we see fit (the gossip! the hot mess! the shallow one! the judgy know it all!) . Just off the top of my head of course… did some of those hit a little too close? Same.

The whole point here: we’re looking all over for an outside solution to an inside problem. Until we address the heart of the issue, the selfish sin that controls us, we are spinning our wheels, putting useless stickers in windows to make ourselves feel like we’re doing something. Labeling ourselves with complicated definitions because we are so desperate to be seen. The safe spaces are going blow over with the slightest wind. The labels are going to shift. So while the world screams “do whatever you want, whenever you want and however you want” the Christian pauses for a moment to understand that’s not freedom. Real freedom is embracing who we are made to be by our Creator and frolicking around in that safest of spaces, His will for our lives. Yes, I said frolicking… because when you know who you are and can rest in it, it’s a frolicking good time. We don’t define it, or let others define us, what a mess we get into when we live out of the desperate need for approval from others. No thanks. Identity from Jesus. Marching orders from Jesus, not culture, not even friends or family.

To those who feel like the blinking deer in headlights, let me say this: fear not. Jesus actually said that, not me. He says it a lot to us. Fear not the frowns and disapproval of the masses. Fear not the upside-down world. Our safe space is impenetrable. Love people enough to speak truth to them. The second we care more about being relevant to culture than reverencing Jesus, we are done for. Pay attention to the loud voices who care more about gaining and keeping followers than they do about sharing the true heart of God, the ones who have decided we need to apologize for Jesus and modify His words in light of some new developments. You all know of whom and what I speak. It’s rampant.

Dear Christians, I genuinely believe we can breathe life into a dead world. Not by using our sharp wits or showing off our perfect little lives, but by suiting up and stepping on the field armed with compassion and truth. That’s it. Be real, and let God do what He does.

We can create false safe spaces and slap labels on ourselves all day long hoping to be liked or validated, and it’s never going to bring us the fulfillment we need. The “loud ones” as I call them are getting louder. I can’t out-dazzle a pride parade, I won’t ever be able to change a complicit media outlet, and I won’t ever have the platform of the current Christian “it-girl”… and that’s a good thing. My safe space is Jesus and no other, my label is simply who He calls me to be. Maybe there’s a remnant of believers out there content with being just that.